Compassion during Pandemic


We are living through tough times right now and the level of how they affect each of us may be so different, but the fact is we are all going through this together. With constant waves of emotions and processing the stages of the Pandemic we are facing, it is important to keep in mind that we all need to stay calm, extend compassion and show constant kindness. We are all just doing our best to get through this, and doing that as a Community will help us through this process and in the coming months as we recover from the affects that will impact us all.

The unknown is a scary thing to try and grasp, but trust in knowing that we are resilient, and we will rise through this time. Pull together with your neighbors and support one another. Follow precautions and heed advice as we receive it.

Be kind to those you may be around and remember how nice it is to receive a smile. Anxieties are high and a little compassion goes such a long way. Support local as much as you can by using the guidelines set, because we need our local businesses just as much as they need us.

Help those you can that may not be able to do things themselves but practice social distancing. Stay connected through making phones call, social media and video chats. We are fortunate that we have the resources we do, and we should utilize them.

Most Churches are livestreaming their services, start a video chat book club or keep in touch with employees or friends in weekly chats. Most importantly stay safe and stay home if you can! Use this time to enjoy your families. Our Nation is so strong and we will weather this together and recover stronger than ever.

Just don’t forget that we are in this together and need to keep in mind that everyone has different views and opinions. Respect that and respect each other. Do you part in keeping others safe and helping however you can.

Kindness, Compassion, Consideration and Gratitude go a long way. Practice them often.

Love and Light,



In the wilderness



11 years ago I had my first big loss. I lost my Grandma, my momma’s mom. It was awful. Losing her was bad enough but the way it happened was very traumatic. After her loss I dug deep into drinking, partying and pills. A few months after that we discovered that my Step-Daddy, the man who raised me had Stage 4 Esophageal cancer. I lived away at college and would go home every few months to visit and find him getting worse each time. I never dealt with the grief or pain like my mom and sister did living it with him day in and day out. I just drank more. I worked two jobs, went to school full-time and when my head wasn’t completely in that; I would drink more. Take a few more pills. Party with my friends and keep a huge smile on my face. I was Strong, I was going places.

My Daddy was diagnosed in June of 2007. He weighed 250 pounds and was a happy, healthy and amazing man. He passed away June 8, 2008 weighing 98 pounds. He was still amazing but cancer took the rest from him. The next few years looking back are still a blur. I hated God for taking him from us, I pushed everyone away and either ruined or almost ruined every relationship I had with anyone. Family, friends, my fiancé. I drank constantly. I would drink before work, sometime while on my lunch break and every evening. I didn’t need a special holiday, time of day or reason. I drank so I wouldn’t feel.

I am not telling you any of that for sympathy. I am telling you this to tell you a different side of my story. Isn’t it crazy that a human being can accomplish soooo damn much but can also be some of the weakest beings there are. I never worked through any of that grief. I never walked through the steps and slowly began to heal. 10 years later and I am just now taking the steps to try and walk through those losses.

I still battle alcoholism. And I have only ever said those actual words to a few people in my life. I thought I had a hold on it until I didn’t.

Today,  I am walking through a different kind of grief and loss. I am going through divorce. The difference is that the man I am losing isn’t dying. Just our marriage is. So here I am trying to figure this grief thing out still and now I have to grieve a situation that I still have to deal with everyday. And trying to do it sober has been a challenge. While out of town for work I relapsed into “Just having  good time.” Until it wasn’t. What is scary is I have no idea where I was, how I got there or what happened. The last memory I do have was taking shots and laughing at a bar. It is terrifying and opened my eyes to a lot. Including the fact that when the drunk wore off and the shame kicked in. The pain I was feeling hit me even harder.

Grief is a crazy thing and so is pain. I am so far from figuring it out I won’t even begin to try. All I can say is that I know I am going to have to walk through it this time. I can’t depend on anyone else to help me or do that for me. No substance, person or thing can get me through this.

What I do know is that as I take on this wild trail through the wilderness God will be there for me. With open arms and a whole lot of Grace to lead me down this bumpy path. I think that is just what he intended. For us humans to make the mistakes, feel the pain and trek through the unknown. Then and only then do we realize just how much we need him and truly lean on him in all our needs.

This will take time. More time then I want I am sure, but God does have a sense of humor. He knows I am not a patient person. I also believe he has something amazing for me waiting. In his time, I can’t wait to see what that is.


Journal Entry 1 of an unknown crazy amount.