Making it through the unknown.

Life has so many unknown possibilities. So many different choice we can take and directions we can go. We can wake one day and our entire world can be turned upside down. What we thought was, no longer is. What we dreamed to be is quickly brought to a halt. The thing is somethings are out of our control. Somethings are consequences of our actions and somethings; well those things God brings to be or not to be. I don’t want to get all philosophical with this post, but I do want to share a little of what I am going through.

I am going through a phase of the unknown. A lot is “Up in the air.” There is nothing that I can truly do aside from leave it in someone more powerful than myself hands.

How I am getting through each day. How I am coping with the change and process. That I do have control over.

Here are some things you can also try to use if you to are going through a phase in your life of uncertainty.

  1. Organize and clean your entire house. Leave no pillow unturned and no closet corner ignored. This has been so therapeutic for me. Plus I have purged or donated so many things we don’t use in the process.
  2. Find other ways to use things in your home. I wanted to get my paints back out and start painting. I didn’t have a table or anything that would work for the small area I have so I used the benches from my dining table. I have a lot of random chairs (I have a problem with pillows and chairs), so those chairs are now around my table!
  3. Pick back up hobbies you haven’t done in a longtime or start a new hobby! I got my paints out again. I have been filling spare time with working out, writing, journaling, painting and digging into my bible. Really anything that keeps my mind busy and focusing on the positive.
  4. Surround yourself with those who mean the most to you! My boys are my light and my world. When I am with them they are my main focus and we have so much fun!! Family and true friends are always going to be there when you need them. Take them up on their offer to get dinner, coffee or just sit and talk. It is so good for your soul.
  5. Something else I am super excited about is that I love to read and have some like minded gals that do too, so we are going to start a Book Club. I hope this becomes a safe and fun place for us all to hangout, read and get in much need girl time in the middle of our crazy busy life’s.
  6. I have also decided to reach out to someone to talk to. Someone who doesn’t know me but from a professional stand point and can give me the guidance to get through my current situation in a healthy way. A way so that I can heal and not use substances, the wrong people or fall back into old patterns.

 

Y’all life can be so damn hard. I know we are all out here just trying to do our best and make it through things “One Day at a Time.” I know right now I am thanking sweet baby Jesus on the daily for my Dry Shampoo, Messy bun, Concealer and Coffee! Maybe channeling some of your troubles or energy into an outlet similar to some of these will help you. The main thing to remember is we will make it through this.

We are strong Woman, Mothers, Sisters, Daughters. Friends. With a little support when we need it we will get through whatever phase of life you are currently in. Just know when to ask when you need help. That’s what we are all here for.

 

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style.” – Maya Angelou

 

Love and Light,

Ashley

My top 8 things to do for “Me Time”

rise coffee

Let me just start by saying , I love my kids and my husband with all my heart. They are literally my whole world and my entire being, but sometimes I just want to be alone. I don’t want to be summoned 100 times in 2 minutes. I need to forget about all my responsibilities and I need a minimum of 30 minutes (more is a HUGE bonus) to just NOT be touched!

The main thing we as mama’s need to get over is feeling guilty when we want, need or take time to ourselves. Yes, we decided to have kids (or in some peoples case God gifted us with a wonderful Surprise.) Yes, I know I am blessed beyond measure. Yes, I know these moments are fleeting and I will miss the crazy yelling, fighting and chaos. I get it. I promise I do. Most of the time I love these moments and find the beauty of them. Other times I am just human and I lose my shit. I cry and even sob. These moments are when I know I need to take sometime for me and get the heck away from the house. By myself where no one calls me MOOOooooM!

 

I am thankful my husband loves me at my breaking points and recognizes when I need to get away. I am forever grateful for that. In return he gets to go fishing “almost” anytime he wants and I try to be as understanding even on my worse days. However, I am realistic and I know not everyone has the same kind of arrangements. I get it that we are all in different walks of life, work different schedules, are single moms, have husbands who work out of town.

Call in the forces sister! Find some amazing babysitters, (it’s worth the money to have some sanity), give grandma or whatever she is called now a days a call, call a sibling, best friend, neighbor, Sunday school friend. Who ever it is CALL THEM! Tell them it’s life or death. Make a schedule with your best friend and watch her kids for a day and then she can do the same for you. Just make it happen. YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

Here are some of my favorite things to do when I get time to indulge in myself. Guys sometimes all that means is 30 minutes, or a day, or a weekend! Take what you can get and make the best of it.

  1. Walk through a bookstore. I love finding used bookstores and just rummaging through the shelves. I am one of those quirky weird people who love the smell of books. ❤
  2. Find a coffee shop, ask the Barista to make a pretty latte, sit in silence and JUST BREATHE. AHHhhhhhhh
  3. Pack your favorite blanket (mine is an old quilt that I actually keep in my car), go to your favorite park, sit under a tree and read! Fresh air, Sunshine and a book does wonders for the soul.
  4. Find a yoga class and go to that shit as much as possible. I mean that in the most Zen way possible. Do it and then come back and thank me and tell me how wonderful it was!
  5. Look into your local art society and see when they have open art nights. Even if art isn’t “your thing” sometimes walking and looking at others peoples art in galleries can give you a new perspective. If you are like me and art is your thing. You can spend 20 minutes staring at a piece of work that speaks to you as you examine every feeling you may be feeling. (Told you I quirky, but it’s totally endearing I promise)
  6. RUN! Sweat. Walk Fast whatever works for you and your body. Get your heartrate up, burn those endorphins and take an amazzzing shower afterward.
  7. Walk through thrift stores. I love going and rummaging through other peoples junk and finding little treasures. It’s also quiet and can be very relaxing.
  8. Get in your car, drive to your closet “drive in”, get a soda or milkshake, and call your best friend, your momma, your sister or cousin. Call your person and vent. Then let them vent. Just getting away and having someone to talk to can leave you refreshed and ready to go back home and take on the world.

If you don’t take care of yourself then you won’t ever be able to be fully at your best for your husband and kids. Don’t ever let yourself feel guilty for doing things for you. We spend all of our time taking care of others. At home, at work, at school, where you volunteer and ALL of those things are wonderful. But just think of how much better they will be when you are fully charged and feeling your very best!

happy momma

Light and Love,

Ashley