Life has so many unknown possibilities. So many different choice we can take and directions we can go. We can wake one day and our entire world can be turned upside down. What we thought was, no longer is. What we dreamed to be is quickly brought to a halt. The thing is somethings are out of our control. Somethings are consequences of our actions and somethings; well those things God brings to be or not to be. I don’t want to get all philosophical with this post, but I do want to share a little of what I am going through.
I am going through a phase of the unknown. A lot is “Up in the air.” There is nothing that I can truly do aside from leave it in someone more powerful than myself hands.
How I am getting through each day. How I am coping with the change and process. That I do have control over.
Here are some things you can also try to use if you to are going through a phase in your life of uncertainty.
- Organize and clean your entire house. Leave no pillow unturned and no closet corner ignored. This has been so therapeutic for me. Plus I have purged or donated so many things we don’t use in the process.
- Find other ways to use things in your home. I wanted to get my paints back out and start painting. I didn’t have a table or anything that would work for the small area I have so I used the benches from my dining table. I have a lot of random chairs (I have a problem with pillows and chairs), so those chairs are now around my table!
- Pick back up hobbies you haven’t done in a longtime or start a new hobby! I got my paints out again. I have been filling spare time with working out, writing, journaling, painting and digging into my bible. Really anything that keeps my mind busy and focusing on the positive.
- Surround yourself with those who mean the most to you! My boys are my light and my world. When I am with them they are my main focus and we have so much fun!! Family and true friends are always going to be there when you need them. Take them up on their offer to get dinner, coffee or just sit and talk. It is so good for your soul.
- Something else I am super excited about is that I love to read and have some like minded gals that do too, so we are going to start a Book Club. I hope this becomes a safe and fun place for us all to hangout, read and get in much need girl time in the middle of our crazy busy life’s.
- I have also decided to reach out to someone to talk to. Someone who doesn’t know me but from a professional stand point and can give me the guidance to get through my current situation in a healthy way. A way so that I can heal and not use substances, the wrong people or fall back into old patterns.
Y’all life can be so damn hard. I know we are all out here just trying to do our best and make it through things “One Day at a Time.” I know right now I am thanking sweet baby Jesus on the daily for my Dry Shampoo, Messy bun, Concealer and Coffee! Maybe channeling some of your troubles or energy into an outlet similar to some of these will help you. The main thing to remember is we will make it through this.
We are strong Woman, Mothers, Sisters, Daughters. Friends. With a little support when we need it we will get through whatever phase of life you are currently in. Just know when to ask when you need help. That’s what we are all here for.
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style.” – Maya Angelou
Love and Light,
First of all, I hope you had a wonderful birthday today! We tried to make it special but also simple and sweet. An adventure will await us soon. It still seems absolutely impossible that you are now SEVEN! It is like we took a few nights sleep and you grew up before my eyes. You know I have often heard that there is just something special between a mama and her first born. Well baby boy that is so true. Let mama explain. See you are the very first one who made me a mom. You came into this world clinging to me and changed my life forever. In such a better way! You trusted me and our bond has always been unbreakable. Momma could always make it better. I won’t lie this still amazes me. I had NO idea what I was doing when we first laid eyes on each other. Heck, some days I still don’t. The great thing though is that we get to learn together. You taught me how to unconditionally love someone and man do you show me Grace Every. Single. Day. Clayton Eli, you are the kindest person I know. Your uncanny ability to love and except everyone makes my heart nearly explode. (In the best way possible) You are already turning into such an amazing little man. You are a care giver, love, gentle, responsible and always willing to help me out with anything I am doing. The way you care for your brothers now is building the strongest bond that will always hold strong between y’all. If there are just a few things I want to remind you today on your birthday is.
One, Never ever forget how much I love you and how special you are to me. Our bond and connection mean the world to me. The world that you and your brothers create is my everything and our bond sweet boy; OUR BOND is what started this adventure we are on.
Second, Never let anyone let you believe anything but how wonderful you are. I don’t know a single person in this big huge world that is kinder than you my Gentle Giant and I hope you know God gave you that special gift for a reason so always remember to use it.
Lastly, Always remember to give yourself the same Grace that you show others. On bad days, on days you make bad choices (I WILL FIND OUT ABOUT EVERYTHING, so never lie to me) and on days that you don’t particular like yourself. We all have those days, they pass! Give yourself grace though baby boy because you deserve ever ounce of that!!
I still can’t look at your baby pictures without crying and each year when I go through all of the ones I have I will cry as the years go by. Heck, I am sobbing while I write this. Because no your not my “favorite” your brothers and you all have things that make you all my favorite, but you are different. What we have is different. You were the first to call me momma, hold my finger with all five of yours, nurse endless nights while I just stared at you. You help build me, help me grow and began molding me into the mom I am today before your brothers where ever a thought. Thank you for always being my biggest fan and you will be my Superhero!
I love you to our Moon and Back with a Hug around the neck.
Happy Birthday Big Man
Love your momma
I often wonder if anyone else’s kids are as wild as mine. Why when in a store does it always seem like my boys are the only ones driving their momma (or dad) absolutely insane? The truth is they aren’t the only ones but it is always going to stand out that way to me. Let me set up the “perfect” scenario.
“Boys we are going to quickly run into the store, DO NOT ask for anything! I am only grabbing a few things to make dinner!” *Enters Store* Mom, can we PLEAASE play this game? We will DIE if we can’t just play it one time! (Me under my breathe, “Curse the people who place the dumb machines at store entrances!!!”) No we are in a hurry lets go boys. Gets in the store. Has a 5 minute argument over which cart to use because the Car Cart is already gone. Finally, in the store headed to get items. Youngest begins screaming for silicone tongs. “WHY ME?!?!” Crisis one diverted only to make it less that 20 feet and middle son now has to poop so badly that his stomach will explode right then and there. I know this because he just yelled it out to everyone in isle 3. Which is wonderful; now everyone is really staring at us.
After a not so quick trip to the bathroom we are back on course. Grab the remainder of our items and make our way to the dreaded checkout line. People without kids may think why dreaded? This means you are almost done and out of the store. Well when you have kids this means saying NO 1025 time. This means trying to unload the cart onto the belt while running 25 diversions at the same time. Putting all the items back up that your kids are screaming for. Staring down “Judgey- Judy” who keeps looking at you like you need to get your kids under control and then dealing with “Rude mouth Ruby who thinks you shouldn’t have just popped your sons bottom. When all I want to do is pay and get out of these peoples path of judgement!
Here is the point y’all. If you have children then we have all been here. It’s awful and exhausting and why most every momma needs wine, or yoga, or therapy!
I love my darling boys so much. They are my life. But man can they cause me to snap quicker than anything else in this beautiful world and “Lose my Jesus!” SOOO I have an idea. What if instead of staring down that momma or mumbling what you would do, what if for just one moment we step into her shoes? Think about a time when you have been there. Smile at her and give her a word of encouragement.
I challenge you to tell her that this will pass quickly. Pat her on the back and remind her she isn’t alone. Tell her how amazing she is and that her beautiful children will appreciate all she does one day.
From one Momma to another I want you to know I am here for you. I am in this same phase of life where things are often more wild than calm. I lose my cool and scream more than I want to admit but I also love my boys big. I tell them that all the time. We cuddle, read and play hard. At the end of the day we tell each other how much we love one another. They talk about how amazing their day was, so despite the times I lost my cool they talk about all the awesome stuff we did. Guess what? They don’t even mention when I freaked out on them for not listening to me! The days may be long and the months short, we may be figuring this out one moment to the next, but you aren’t alone!
I am right here with you and together we will figure this all out together!
God Speed Momma,