A letter to my first born son

baby clayton

7/8/2018

Clayton,

First of all, I hope you had a wonderful birthday today! We tried to make it special but also simple and sweet. An adventure will await us soon. It still seems absolutely impossible that you are now SEVEN! It is like we took a few nights sleep and you grew up before my eyes. You know I have often heard that there is just something special between a mama and her first born. Well baby boy that is so true. Let mama explain. See you are the very first one who made me a mom. You came into this world clinging to me and changed my life forever. In such a better way! You trusted me and our bond has always been unbreakable. Momma could always make it better. I won’t lie this still amazes me. I had NO idea what I was doing when we first laid eyes on each other. Heck, some days I still don’t. The great thing though is that we get to learn together. You taught me how to unconditionally love someone and man do you show me Grace Every. Single. Day. Clayton Eli, you are the kindest person I know. Your uncanny ability to love and except everyone makes my heart nearly explode. (In the best way possible) You are already turning into such an amazing little man. You are a care giver, love, gentle, responsible and always willing to help me out with anything I am doing. The way you care for your brothers now is building the strongest bond that will always hold strong between y’all. If there are just a few things I want to remind you today on your birthday is.

clayton collage

One, Never ever forget how much I love you and how special you are to me. Our bond and connection mean the world to me. The world that you and your brothers create is my everything and our bond sweet boy; OUR BOND is what started this adventure we are on.

Second,  Never let anyone let you believe anything but how wonderful you are. I don’t know a single person in this big huge world that is kinder than you my Gentle Giant and I hope you know God gave you that special gift for a reason so always remember to use it.

Lastly, Always remember to give yourself the same Grace that you show others. On bad days, on days you make bad choices (I WILL FIND OUT ABOUT EVERYTHING, so never lie to me) and on days that you don’t particular like yourself. We all have those days, they pass! Give yourself grace though baby boy because you deserve ever ounce of that!!

I still can’t look at your baby pictures without crying and each year when I go through all of the ones I have I will cry as the years go by. Heck, I am sobbing while I write this. Because no your not my “favorite” your brothers and you all have things that make you all my favorite, but you are different. What we have is different. You were the first to call me momma, hold my finger with all five of yours, nurse endless nights while I just stared at you. You help build me, help me grow and began molding me into the mom I am today before your brothers where ever a thought. Thank you for always being my biggest fan and you will  be my Superhero!

I love you to our Moon and Back with a Hug around the neck.

Happy Birthday Big Man

Love your momma

 

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